He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
