I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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