i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize