Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
