Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize