There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
