Sponge bath it is.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I wish I only lived at night.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
