i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
