we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
