i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
