I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
