i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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