Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
