all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
