I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
