Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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