I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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