sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
