ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
