He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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