I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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