oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
