i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
