the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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