It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
