He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just want to make out with him forever
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
