UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She's the barista slut.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
