Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I party with great urgency now.
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