Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
