Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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