yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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