left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
