I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize