I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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