i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
