literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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