You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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