Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
