Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just google imaged poop.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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