You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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