I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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