That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
