I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
