i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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