direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
