Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
