question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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