Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize