got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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