can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
