He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
