Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
