I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
