According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
