How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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