I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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