Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
