I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
