3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
