We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
