is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
